A Love Redeemed – My Testimony

Posted: January 17, 2013 in Uncategorized
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a love Redeemed,

There is no “perfect” way to share my testimony; no “easy” telling that will not hurt or somehow offend someone. It would be easy to wait, months, years, even decades, to share that part of me I might still be ashamed of..

But, my testimony is more than my own “Personal story” of redemption. It is also the absolute rejection of who I once was. It is the powerful declaration of who I am now, in Christ. (new, forgiven, redeemed!) And, it just may be a beacon of hope for others who may still be in darkness..So, no more shame..

Three and a half years ago I was a witch. Three and a half years ago I had an affair. I could use the excuse that my marriage was “on the rocks” (because at the time, it was) or that the seductive charms of Facebook sucked me in (because it did)  but, I now know that we alone, ultimately , choose how we walk. There really is never any excuse for bad behavior and sin. It is simply us, not trusting in God to take care of us. It is us, giving up on what we believe in and turning to our own selfish desires. I gave up back then and, because I was without faith, I was open to anything.. Anything came.

As a child I was “different”. I had dreams that reveled the future and true events that  oftentimes actually happened (in my friend’s lives, in the news, etc.) Because I was raised in a Christian home and church that had no explanation for such abilities,  I was soon under the conviction that I was “born evil”. In High school this thought was ingrained even more when I met friends interested in the occult who agreed and encouraged this line of thinking. But, because of my Christian upbringing and school I do believe that God protected me from fully hitting rock bottom at the time. I fought against the darkness pulling at me and at a youth meeting gave my life to Jesus. But the enemy was still watching, and waiting..

Fast forward many years. I was married to my high school sweetheart. We had two beautiful children together, a wonderful church family, and a blessed life..But,sadly, we no longer saw it. The enemy had begun to blind us, to the goodness of God, to our love for one another..So we let the world in. We allowed bitterness to creep up. We stopped putting one another first. We stopped placing God first. We felt unloved and alone..I began to search for something “more”.

Facebook was a new playground for us at the time and social media became the catalyst for bringing past into present. It did not take long before I had compromised my beliefs (and my marriage)  by carrying on a secret friendship with an ex-flame. We spent hours chatting and because we were far apart and both married we thought we were “safe”. But, that friendship soon crossed another line as we began to explore the religion of Wicca. It was such a seductive path. Wicca claims to be part magic, part fantasy, part “peace”with nature and the universe. Here I suddenly felt I had found the answer to everything. My seemingly psychic dreams, my “sensing” now all made complete sense..I was not “evil”. I was just a natural, “white witch”! (or so I thought)

As I began to “practice”  witchcraft in secret (spells, astral projection, etc.) other, more earthly seductions, began to manifest. Another man, one whom I had never known before, suddenly began to chat with me on social media as well. He was funny, seemingly compassionate, and smart. His conversations began to fill that part of me that longed for intellectual thought and intimacy. But soon our conversations  began to take a decidedly sexual bent..(everything that begins in the head/ mind eventually causes our body to follow.) It was not long before we agreed to meet in person and the actual affair began.

I continued to use my Wiccan magic to “cover” for me, “binding” each meeting with protection and blinding spells, so no one would find out..As my marriage inevitably fell apart more and more I leaned increasingly on my “friends” and the forbidden lifestyles they had to offer. I even began ignoring my children and isolating myself in a private room for hours to chat while my husband was at work. In-between I snuck off to carry on my affair in a town less than an hour from my home.

The witchcraft had stolen from me what should always be dearly treasured; my conscience. Deep down I knew there was no love involved in my affair. Even though the man was a professing Christian, a Sunday school teacher, with a wife (and more than a few children) he actually encouraged me to use my witchcraft to our advantage..

“Whatever it takes.” he often said.

It nearly took everything.

One night I suddenly felt tired, sad and hopeless. My affair had ended two weeks before and I faced the years ahead in what I thought was a loveless marriage( now burdened even more by my terrible secret).In that  moment of regret I reached out again online but, this time to a true Christian friend I had known from college. I poured out the entire sordid story and told him bitterly “Don’t preach to me.” He did not but, said he would pray for me..

What I did not know was at that very moment my husband, moved by the Holy Spirit, had, had enough and was hacking into the entire conversation. He read every word and knew every detail of my affair..When he revealed this to me later that night, I knew my marriage was over.

I cant describe the night when my husband discovered my affair (and that I was a witch.) It’s too painful. I have never felt anything like it in my life but ,having just lost my younger sister, I can say the feeling is pretty close to losing someone to death..I knew I was wrong and I knew there was no hope. I was being told to leave (and he had every right) but, instead, I picked up the phone and called the assistant pastor at my church..I sobbed out the whole story and, in that long conversation, even denounced witchcraft..But, I knew that would not solve or erase the pain I had caused. I had done the unforgivable.

My pastor said “I love you, Melinda.” She did not condemn me .She told me someone would call me back and ask to speak to my husband..When the call came I never expected him to answer it but, unbelievably, he did..A man and women of God I will always consider my spiritual grandparents spoke to him for almost an hour. I do not know what they said but, when my husband came out of the bedroom he had a determined look in his eyes..He took my hand, crying, and said “Melinda, I am willing to fight for you.”

I will never forget those words..How my heart broke! I realized in that moment  that the enemy had been lying to my husband and I all along! I was still loved! and I still loved him! The words that meant the most came 24 hours later. When asked by our marriage counselor if  my husband could forgive me he said ” yes-I believe I can.” ( I have an amazing husband :)..) I remember gasping and saying “you can?!” I was fully astonished and filled with joy! We both left that place totally new, changed!. My husband became a new creation that day as well. We both discovered that our lives had not been what pleased God or each other but, the amazing truth was that we were loved by God (and one another) anyway! We had received total forgiveness and true GRACE. There and then we laid it all down and agreed to walk from that moment on, upright and in love..

Our journey and story does not end there( and It has been quite a journey). But through it all, God has been with us. He has truly made us new creations and renewed our marriage! We fell in love (passionate love) all over again and were blessed in double portion for all the enemy had stolen from us. Just last year we renewed our wedding vows in a private but beautiful ceremony, signifying our renewed “covenant” with God and one another…

I pray that our story may bless all who read it and that you too may know the great Grace we were given . Blessings.

-Melinda L. Clark

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Comments
  1. Louise Adams says:

    God Bless You Melinda, I pray that this testimony will help many other Christian couples struggling against the fiery darts of Satan; we are his prime targets. Count it all joy that He finds you worthy to be attacked, you must be a great threat to the devil!

  2. Angie Compton says:

    I’m so glad that you shared your testimony and I’m glad that we are friends. God is so good!!

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